Dear friends!

If you want, please think of a person that you do not like so much. For example, this person may have insulted you or may have treated you unjustly. Or she or he may just be not very congenial in your view. Now please imagine that person vividly in your mind. What are the feelings that accompany your thoughts about this person?

Now, if you want, let us make a change. Please try to find out what is good about this person. Certainly there is something good in that person. Can you find out what it is? Now look at yourself. What are your feelings now? Do you perceive any difference?

Dear friends, thank you very much for having done this little exercise. The idea behind it was to demonstrate that we are able to change thoughts and feelings about others from negative to positive. In addition, this was already a demonstration of Positive Communication.

Positive Communication is a new approach to communication which I, Ann Elisabeth Auhagen from Germany, was inspired to develop. It combines spiritual thinking with knowledge from communication psychology.

What is the basic principle of Positive Communication?

Positive Communication is communicating whilst being guided by charity and selflessness. Communicating in this manner implies thinking, feeling, talking, and acting. Again: Positive Communication is to think, to feel, to talk, and to act whilst being guided by charity and selflessness.

Charity in Positive Communication is understood as being a positive emotion towards everyone. At a minimum, we should be aware of the dignity and value of everyone. There is no exception: everybody is included here. Remember what we have done some minutes ago: We tried to change our thinking and feeling towards a person we have thought quite negatively about in the past. Of course, there can be different levels of charity, and Positive Communication offers us some opportunity to develop higher levels of it.

Selflessness in Positive Communication is understood as thinking, feeling, talking, and acting without expecting something in return or gratitude. Not: I do you a favour, and you do me a favour in return. Rather: For my Positive Communication I do not expect anything, but if something good happens, I will enjoy it.

What are basic ideas of Positive Communication?

• One basic idea is that good lies in everyone . The good is in us because everyone was given a divine sparkle by God. This divine sparkle is inalienable and unchangeable. We are offered to rediscover it, which implies rediscovering the good as a central point in our lives.
• Another basic idea is that we have a free will . This is also a gift by God. At least, two consequences follow from the free will: We should respect the free will of others, and we are responsible for ourselves.
• A third basic idea of Positive Communication is that we have the possibility of reconsidering our everyday lives . Often we have a lot of routine in our everyday lives. But is all of that really helpful to us and others? Positive Communication suggests thinking and acting independently. For example, if someone is unfriendly to them, many people also react in an unfriendly manner. In contrast, Positive Communication suggests reacting kindly in such a case. Thus, if we find out about something in our communication that does not serve ourselves or others in a good way, we have the possibility of rearranging it more adequately.

• One spiritual aim is to dissolve bindings . From a spiritual perspective, bindings can be imagined as being chains with which we chain ourselves up with others. They hinder us from being free. Bindings in this spiritual sense emerge through negative thinking, feeling, talking, and acting. Quarrel, hate, being angry at someone, not forgiving someone, sending someone bad wishes or thoughts, physical or psychological power are examples. In consequence, in Positive Communication one thinks positively of people. Here one tries to make an end to any quarrel, and pray for people you think you dislike. In consequence, you are moving towards a dissolving of the bindings.
• Another spiritual aim of Positive Communication is to increase love and joy . I am convinced that one task we are given by God is to enlarge love and joy on this planet. As I understand it, God wants us all to experience love and joy instead of harm and grief. And if we increase love and joy for others, we ourselves certainly will experience more of it. This can be explained by the spiritual law of sowing and reaping: What we sow, we will reap. Just imagine what the world would be like if everyone would choose on a daily basis to increase love and joy for others!

How can Positive Communication be applied on the everyday level?

Positive Communication is the voluntarily applied principle to communicate whilst being guided by charity and selflessness. It is possible in any situation, and there is no narrow scheme for its application.

Let me give you some examples of Positive Communication ideas.

Begin yourself with being and doing good: This means that you do not have to wait for others to do good. For example, often people say: If the other person apologizes, then I will forgive him or her. Do not think like this. Forgive - independent of any circumstances. Begin yourself with being and doing good.

Be generous: Generosity can concern material or immaterial aspects: When in doubt, decide to be generous: Instead of giving less, give more. Be generous.

Pray spontaneously for others: For example, if I perceive that a stranger has problems with his body or his mind, I realize that life may be sometimes quite difficult for him or her. Thus this person needs my spiritual help in particular. In these cases I pray and bless spontaneously with the help of a short mental prayer. It happened to me in my home country, outside in the street: a man with a hateful facial expression threw a lighter at my arm. I smiled as kindly as I could at the man and prayed for him and blessed him in a heartfelt manner. Of course, I also pray and bless spontaneously in positive situations and for people I know.

Increase harmony: At least in the Western world people sometimes feel stressed and in a bad humour. Do not let yourself be influenced by negative feelings or negative moods. Rather, send out good humour and thus increase harmony.

Make someone happy: During the day you can ask yourself: What would make my neighbour happy? If you find out something which seems to be spiritually acceptable, just realize it.

There are numerous possibilities for Positive Communication. Be creative yourself! Give your best, but never feel coerced to do good. To perform Positive Communication is a voluntary decision. Just do what your feelings of love and selflessness tell you to do. I often pray that I am aided in doing the right thing.

What are basic results of Positive Communication that you can directly perceive in your everyday life?

You will get along better with others: It will be easier for you to communicate with others. Also, Positive Communication helps to avoid conflict and harm. There is nothing to fear: Most people react much more positive than we think.

You will also get along better with yourself: As Positive Communication brings love and joy to other people, they will be happier when being with you. The glance in their eyes will reflect on you. And you will feel more love yourself.

In summary, my message is:

First, we all are good. Second, we all are invited simply to perform the good in our everyday life by communicating whilst being guided by charity and selflessness. Third, if we perform Positive Communication in our everyday lives, the lives of others as well as ours will change to more joy and to more love.

Dear friends, let us translate Positive Communication once more into reality. Please imagine again your person from the beginning, the person you maybe did not like too much. Please create for this person in yourself the warmest of emotions that you can feel. Can you imagine that you and the other person are both united in God and are loved equally by God? Now, if you want, say a prayer for this person.

Thank you all for being here!

Reference

Auhagen, A. E. (2006). Positive Kommunikation. Das Gute in sich entdecken und besser mit sich und anderen umgehen. [Positive Communication. To discover the good in oneself und to treat yourself and others better]. Guetersloh: Guetersloher Verlagshaus.

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